Ive been trying to write this for 5 days now (minus the time it's taken to set up and understand the blog) and i'm finally here.
Wine in hand here we go.....
I'm thirty years old and the proud mummy to baby Jonathan James or JJ as we have learnt to so easily call him - not John not Johnny just Jonathan or J.J. I wanted to call him Jonathan Marcus but hey there is always next time right? Given its a boy and I "forget'' child birth like everyone keeps telling me I will.
I've started this blog so I can share with any other first timers out there my Mummy experiences. I realise there are hundreds, if not thousands of blogs but I felt the need to share this.....
Whilst having a baby has been the most rewarding, life fulfilling and utterly joyful and loving experience of my life, there, as with everything else in life, are the downs. The downs that are never told and the downs that you think will never be experienced.
Little man is being burped by his daddy as I type, nothing is coming out. You will get to know this. That magical burp that bellows from deep below, the one you hope will stop the crying and put him to sleep does not always come out. Even forty minutes later it still remains dormant until eventually, hours down the track, it becomes that wind that rears from down below. You laugh because you think its cute when they give a "wind" smile and then you hope you don't have to clean a smelly smelly poo poo.
I'm not sure how I will go with this blog. If it helps with just one new mummy then my work here is done.
I was married in February last year in England. Somewhere in the beginning of that month I fell pregnant. A flood of mixed emotions hit me. I was pregnant. I was having a baby. My own baby. Something that I had wanted all my life. In fact I didn't want anything more. Was I scared? yes, more than you could imagine. Blood tests confirmed it. The 8 week wait commenced. The wait to 12 weeks when the pregnancy is then considered 'safe'. I was walking on egg shells. A bag of anxiety until that 12 week scan arrived. There it was for the first time on screen. The little bundle of pure love that is growing inside you. It moved, in fact it did not stop moving. I will never, for as long as I live forget that day. It was the most moving moment in my life. Hey, this strong girl even cried.
So there it all begins. The influx of suggestions, which I know all came with good intentions, from family, friends, co-workers and even Joe Blow from the down the road that you had never met.
Dont eat this.
Dont drink that.
Dont listen to that.
Dont cook that.
If you don't eat that when you crave it your baby will have a birth mark.
Dont lift something that weighs just 1 kilo.
Hold it in and don't say it - don't say Shut UP - They mean well.
Listen to it. Absorb it. Take what you want and for heavens sake do not care less for what you don't. Always remember it's your pregnancy and your child inside you. You will feel what's right. You are a woman and from that moment on your mummy instincts kick in. If you don't feel something to be right then CALL THE MIDWIFE. Don't be scared to call them a thousand times. Remember, its your first time. Every pregnancy is different and at that its your first. It's not text book.
Do not feel that because you have not experienced something that your pregnancy is not normal. Some women get morning sickness, some don't. I felt ill every waking moment for the first 12 weeks but was I sick? maybe three times. It's all a different experience for each and every one of us. I'm saying it because I kept getting told what I should be feeling and did not. This added to the anxiety. Again, you will just know.
So that's how I felt for the first 12 weeks. The rest is history. Well not exactly. I just don't have time to finish writing about it now. Jonathan is stirring. It's time to make his formula, yes, formula, no, Im not breastfeeding. Shock horror. The reasoning to that is on the next post.
Love, peace and beautiful babies.